


A Kiss Left Me Wondering

by Schyyy



Category: Mädchen in Uniform | Girls in Uniform (1958)
Genre: F/F, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:22:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24386638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schyyy/pseuds/Schyyy
Summary: "My only sin is falling in love."The story takes place before the kiss between Fräulein von Bernburg and Manuela von Meinhardis. In the movie, Fräulein von Bernburg’s emotions are a bit confusing at times. Well, I’ll try to give justice to that.
Relationships: Manuela von Meinhardis and Elisabeth von Bernburg
Comments: 15
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters. They belong to Christa Winsloe and the directors of the movie.
> 
> Author’s note: I really really love this pairing, and the movies as well. I’ve watched it a lot of times. I’ve been thinking of writing a fanfic for these two for a long time now and here’s what I came up with. This is my very first fanfic so please bare with me.

Chapter 1

“Falling in love is my only sin.”

It is two in the afternoon. As Fräulein von Bernburg walks across the foyer, she heard a familiar voice. It was coming from one of the classrooms. She doesn’t know what tempted her but she went walking towards that room. In an attempt to understand her truest emotions, she gathered all her courage and she entered the room, unsure of what lies beyond these feelings she just couldn’t understand. She was trembling. She felt this fear, this undying need. Yes yes, it is still unbeknownst to her everything that would transpire in the future, though with her one simple move, the butterfly effect continued. One would never know that a simple smile, a simple look, and a simple thought could change everything. She stepped inside the room, and there she was... looking at her with longing in her eyes; yet, no one seemed to notice. 

Manuela is with her classmates practicing her lines for the play “Romeo and Juliet”. She was standing there, with the same fire in her eyes, unaware of the endless possibilities that awaited her... unaware of the deepening feelings she has for someone... unknowing that the other has already made a move against fate. Though it is only a simple move, one cannot take back what was already given. One can only go forward and have a dance with fate. Elizabeth can see that Manuela’s having a hard time delivering her lines, but still, she is trying. Elisabeth smiled with that thought. Madam Aubert does not seem to notice that this girl has talent. Because of Madam Aubert’s harsh comments, exasperation is evident in Manuela’s eyes. She just wanted this practice to be finished so she could do things teenagers do, and well, to have a glimpse of her certain someone.

“Nein, nein, nein nicht gut!”, Madam Aubert.

In her defense, Madam Aubert only wanted her students to give their best even during practice. She is aware that Manuela can act. The girl has talent that was why she picked her herself. She just wanted to give her a little push so that she could be at her very best. Realizing the girl was already losing patience and it really affected her acting, she stopped the practice. ‘A person could never act that they’re in love if they’re angry’, she thought. To challenge Manuela even more, she told her that if she failed to act well on their next practice, she would replace her as Romeo. With this, Manuela seemed to be more pissed than before.

Soon enough, Elisabeth had realized that she felt uneasy knowing that Manuela feels that way. She failed to understand what compelled her to just stand there and wait for her. What was she even thinking? The practice is finished and the students are walking towards the door. Manuela, unaware that she was being watched by her Lehrerin, gasped when she realized that her Fräulein von Bernburg was in front of her. They just looked in each others eyes, trying to mask all these bottled emotions that Manuela didn’t even know Elisabeth has. Well, Elisabeth, on her part, still haven’t acknowledged what she felt nor understood what occurred at that time, she was just lost in those hazel brown eyes. Before she lose herself even more, she spoke in an authoritative voice, “Meinhardis, come”.  
———————————————

“Moments become memories.”

Flashback

The warm rays of the sunlight had woken Fräulein von Bernburg. It was the start of another day. She looked at the clock and it was already 6:30 in the morning. She need to get ready. As she finish all her morning routines, there was a knock on the door.

“Come in.”, she said.

“Sorry to interrupt you Fräulein von Bernburg, but I need to tell you something.”

“Good morning to you too Fräulein von Racket, what is it you want to tell me?”

Fräulein von Racket seemed a bit uneasy and not in the mood. Although she tried to hide it, it is still evident in her eyes. She leaned in the doorframe and said, “I came here to tell you that today is the arrival of our new student, and Sr. Oberin had decided that it would be best if she would be placed on your dormitory Fräulein von Bernburg.”

“Of course.”, the other woman said.

Fräulein von Racket smiled and left the room. Little did they know that Sr. Oberin’s decision to place the new student in Elisabeth’s care was the move that started it all. Sr. Oberin played a role in letting those two start their dance against fate. 

Fräulein von Bernburg looked at the mirror with confidence. She was wearing a long skirt, and a long-sleeve polo shirt with sky-blue stripes and a blue ribbon in the middle. Her class would start soon so she grabbed her things and went. She left her room around 8am. As she walked up the stairs, she felt that someone was looking at her. She looked up and she locked eyes with the new girl. ‘This must be the new student.’, she thought to herself. The girl did not move, she waited for her teacher to come close to her. She looked intensely towards her. The moment seemed so uncomfortable, but still, it was just the beginning. 

As she looked up, intense eyes were already gazing at her. She maintained her composure and finally said, “You must be the new student. Let me look at you. Turn around.”. She noticed that the girl has a scar in her hand, but she chose not to ask about it.

“I’m you’re class teacher Fräulein von Bernburg. And you are?”

“I’m Manuela von Meinhardis.”, the girl answered.

“Well Meinhardis, I expect you to follow all the rules, and act in a disciplined manner.”. She paused a little and touched Manuela’s shoulder and said reassuringly but her eyes maintained its cold and warm unexplainable gaze, “Go and find the others, you must not be late on your first class.”

With that, Manuela left.

This moment spoke to both of them in ways that they have not understood yet. Beginnings always have an end, what could there end be?


	2. Pyramus and Thisbe or Eros and Psyche

The night grew weary and the silence became eery. Manuela is sitting by the window in one of the classrooms. It is past six in the evening and all her classmates are in their respective dormitories. She can feel the deafening quietness of the room. What else could she do now that she is trap in this school for girls. She just want to get away from all these mess. If she could only leave and never come back, she would. Truly, what a young hurting girl she actually is. 

A while back during the day, Manuela met the regal and beautiful Edelgard von Kleist. Her hair is the perfect shade of golden brown and her eyes the color of autumn. During lunch at the refectory, Kleist seated next to Manuela. She is always fond of newcomers. 

“Do you mind if I join you?”

“No, not at all.” Manuela smiled.

“Great! I’m Edelgard von Kleist.”

“Ich heiße Manuela (I’m Manuela).”

The two girls shared their own stories. They immediately became comfortable with each other. Kleist has this sweet French accent mixed with the German tongue. 

“Kommen Sie aus Deutschland? (Are you from Germany?)”, Manuela asked.

“Enough with the formalities and nein Manuela. I grew up in Frankreich. Meine Mama ist French aber mein Vater is German (My mom is French but my father is German).Although, I spent most of my vacations in England.” Kleist answered in both English and German never even daring to use her mother-tongue. Manuela, never the observant one, realized there is something hidden beneath Kleist’s words. She looked at her in awe. Kleist has noticed this so she changed the subject.

“Enough of me, tell me something about you?”

“My mother recently died. I was there, she was lying in her bed with her eyes closed. If I ever knew that would be the last time, I should have stayed in her room that night.”

“Entschuldigung Manuela. (I’m sorry Manuela)”.

“It’s alright Kleist.” Manuela said while leaning in the table. She sighed and continued,”I wish I could just run away.”

Little did Manuela know that outside the refectory, someone has stopped dead in her tracks and listened with sheer curiosity about the words of pain she had spoken.  
——————

Elisabeth von Bernburg is a virtuous, kindhearted lady. She shows great competence in her line of work. Marred by her dark past, she strived to fight for who she truly is. 

The day is almost over. She looks at the empty classroom. The sunrays’ slowly being engulfed by darkness. Suddenly feeling nostalgic, she shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose. She has to go back to her room and check on the girls afterward. She is almost close to her room when she sees Kleist and Westhagen coming towards her in panic. 

“Fräulein von Bernburg.” Both girls curtseyed.

“No running in the hallway girls. What is this all about?"

“It’s about Manuela.” Westhagen said.

“What about her?” Fräulein von Bernburg asked with raised eyebrows.

“She’s not here. We can’t find her anywhere.” Kleist said with a worried look.

“Go back to your room. I will take care of this."

Elisabeth came looking for the girl. She has to find her before the headmistress would have the knowledge of what is happening right now. Manuela would be in so much trouble on her first day if ever the headmistress finds out. Elisabeth does not want Manuela to suffer more especially at this moment where she just lost her mother. A sudden thought came to Elisabeth's mind. She remembered hearing Manuela earlier that she wants to run away. 'Could it be?' She thought. Elisabeth quickly walked towards the gates, but when she got there, it was already locked. She needs a key. The moment she turned around, she saw a silhouette on one of the building's unlit classroom.Trusting her instincts, she went back to the building and she went straight to that room. 

Manuela is still sitting alone, her mind's wandering in places where happiness could be found. Traces of tears shadowed her eyes. She does not want to think of tomorrow because for her it is already gone. Her musings were interrupted by the sound of the door opening. 

"Meinhardis."

Someone whispered her name but that same whisper rang throughout the quietness of the room. She looks at the door, only seeing a figure she would soon be most familiar with. The moonlight shines through Manuela's eyes letting Elisabeth see the teardrops escaping in those amber eyes. 

"Oh child, what is it that is bothering you?" With every word being said, Elisabeth comes closer to Manuela. Concern and worry is evident in her eyes. 

"I don't know." Manuela answered in a gasping breath. Right at this moment, she cannot stop the tears from flowing.

Elisabeth felt a sudden need to comfort the girl like how Pyramus is with Thisbe, how Pysche is with Eros. The girl embraced her and Elisabeth held her close. They are not lovers, they never are but like Pysche and Eros, they would find each other. They would. They would. None of them realizes that they would relive the path of Pyramus and Thisbe, the starcross lovers. But it was never known what kind of ending these two women would have.


	3. The Myrtle Tree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I really hope anyone who read this would love it. This is the very first fic that I wrote and any mistakes are mine alone. I would really try to make this fanfic better. And I would like to thank you all for the reads and thelotuseaters for the comment! It absolutely inspired me to write as soon as I can. Anyway, thank you again!

Morning came without mirth. The events of last night remained unspoken. Nobody knows what has happened during that restless evening. Only two hearts are aware of what transpired but even so, the mind represses what the heart truly feels. 

It is the cold gloomy Saturday morning that woke Manuela up. Last night is quite a blur. Her thoughts wandered to an obscure silouette that warmed her heart. She was rescued by this very same person from the darkness which enveloped her last night. She was brought back from her trance when Kleist had spoken to her.

"Manuela, Frühstück ist fertig. (Breakfast is ready.) Hurry and go take a bath. I'll introduce you to Westhagen and the others.", Kleist said eagerly.

"Nein nein Kleist, I still want to sleep.", Manuela said in a sleepy groan while covering her head with her pillow. 

Westhagen came running into the room. Being her playful self, she has succesfully compelled Kleist to join her in her plan to wake up Manuela. With an evil grin, both girls jumped into the bed where Manuela is "sleeping". 

"Okay okay I'm up!", Manuela stated with a heavy groan. Seconds later the room was filled with laughter.

"Oh wait, I still haven't properly introduced myself. I'm Ilse von Westhagen. I prefer if you call me Ilse."

Westhagen is a charming individual, the epitome of delight as what they would say. Her hair is as dark as ebony. Her light-hearted self is enough to uplift the mood.

"It's nice meeting you Westhagen." Manuela playfully grinned.

"Hey! I told you it's Ilse, but suit yourself.", she shrugged. 

"What's wrong with Westhagen?", Manuela asked, filled with curiosity.

"You know Ilse, as mushy as it may sound, she values familiarity.", Kleist answered in a humming manner.

"Well, you really are a softy." Manuela said in a teasing voice.

"I'm not! You two are not fair!"

Both girls are laughing at their antics. Moments like this, Manuela felt like home. 

"Enough with this banter. You all just go, I'll take a bath and follow you to the refectory afterwards."

Both girls left the room, leaving Manuela alone with her thoughts. She finds herself getting lost again in the warm embrace of the woman last night. Shaking her head, she went straight to the bathroom.

\--

Elisabeth had not slept well last night. By 5:30, she is already awake. Fate can never tell why but as soon as she remembered what transpired that uneventful night, she grabbed her journal and started writing a poem.

"She painted herself  
with colorful sorrow  
And promised the past  
a tearless tomorrow"

Still, Elisabeth isn't satisfied with what she wrote. She decided to get up and start with her morning routines. She has a lot of things to do, grades to finish, lectures to review but after all the thinking, she looked at her unfinished poem. 'Might as well finish this.' Elisabeth thought to herself. She stepped outside her room and decided to stay for a while at her favorite place.

The school may be a somber scene with its dismal and uninviting nature, but just outside the building is a garden. The gentle sway of the wind, and the presence of tranquility brings serenity to Elisabeth. The field is vast, the grasses are green, at the end of the garden is the most pristine lake the eyes had seen and beside the lake stood the most beautiful hue of pinkish red, one Myrtle tree to give just the perfect rest. 

Elisabeth sat in the grasses so green, and rested her head in the trunk of the Myrtle tree. Feeling calm and content, she opened her journal and created life through words from ink.

"She painted herself  
with colorful sorrow  
And promised the past  
a tearless tomorrow  
It's never too hard  
to forget the pain  
As long as your heart  
vowed never to beat again."

Still wasn't finish, she left out a sigh. The ink is almost empty, how can't she noticed that? With a silent groan she stood up, left her journal in these fields of green just beside the Myrtle Tree. She went back to the building and went straight to her room. She grabbed the nearest ink and in just a few minutes she is on her way back to that serene place.

\--

Manuela had just finished a warm bath so she went outside the room. The hallway is quiet. 'All the girls must be in the refectory by now.', Manuela thought to herself. While on her way to the refectory, in the quietness of the place, she heard some footsteps. And just when she was about to turn around and leave, she saw the same figure that clouded her subconscious dreams. 'Fräulein von Bernburg!', her mind had reeled. She holds a notebook and an ink. Manuela stayed still, and luckily she was not seen. Out of curiosity, she followed Elisabeth. They went outside the building and unto the back gates. These gates are not built with iron and steel but woods and just the right touch of vines from trees. Her heart was astonished when she realized the scenery. The sea of vibrant flowers captured her heart. In the middle of it all is an old pavilion. Still, she was not seen.

She saw Elisabeth passed through the pavilion. She followed silently, but chose to stay hidden in that domed building the moment Elisabeth sat under the Myrtle Tree. Manuela admired the image of it all. She took in the scenery. The gentle breeze sent rhythm to the soul. The flowers and grasses swayed with ease. It's just the beginning of their dance with fate. 

Inside the pavilion, there stood tall, a statue of Venus the Roman Goddess of love and Aphrodite her Greek form. The sculpture was well carved. The sculptor brought the image to life, and Manuela adored the way it perfectly resembled love.

Gazing back to the Myrtle Tree, Manuela realized Elisabeth was gone. She shrugged and went to that captivating tree with all its thousands hues of red. She stand beside the tree and admires the pristine lake. She closes her eyes and feels the wind caressing her gentle face. When she looked down she saw a journal opened to a certain page. It wasn't her intention to read those words in black and gray. But what she read saddened her heart, 'Is she really that unhappy?', she thought to herself.

She knows she'd be in trouble with what she's going to do next. With the little ink left, she began writing at the bottom of the page. After all has been done, she immediately left, leaving no trace, only those words in black and gray.


	4. Let Me Save You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the late update, I've just been busy lately. Anywayyy here is chapter 4, I've been watching the movie (for a hundred times now) while writing this (I just can't get enough of them!). I hope you enjoy it!

Manuela went back to the school building without being seen. Her heart is beating fast, remembering what she wrote and what she had read. She never understood why her heart softened the moment she read the poem Elisabeth had written. It speaks to her with such unkept promises. Maybe she feels the pain hidden behind those words. They are much the same, the pain, the longing. What they don't know is that these same feelings would drive them back in each others embrace.

As she was on her way back to the school building, she saw Kleist and Ilse walking towards her. 

"Where have you been? We came back to the room and you aren't there." Ilse said with much curiousity.

"You seem unsettled. Is everything okay?" Kleist worriedly said.

"I'm fine. I just wandered through the back of the school and into the garden."

With this, Ilse gasp with dreamily eyes and said, "So have you seen Fräulein von Bernburg?"

Manuela remembered the image of Elisabeth sitting and writing peacefuly. She also remembered what had transpired that night when they were alone in each others' arms. "Yes, I did." Manuela blankly stated. 

"Speaking of her, she went looking for you last night. She never even went back to the room to bid us goodnight. Did you ever see her?" Kleist asked curiously.

Manuela didn't answered, instead, she shook her head, smiled and said, "Come on, let's go inside."

The two girls exchange unknowing looks and just followed Manuela inside the building. 

\--

_"She painted herself  
with colorful sorrow  
And promised the past  
a tearless tomorrow  
It's never too hard  
to forget the pain  
As long as your heart  
vowed never to beat again"_

And there, at the bottom of the page, written in fresh ink, are the words that Manuela wrote. 

_"Would you prefer  
never to have loved at all?  
Or is your heart willing  
to let one last tear fall?"_

Elisabeth keeps on reading this same line over and over again. Someone had written in her journal. The irony of this all is that she wrote this poem not for herself, but for the aching girl in her arms last night. That is how she makes poetry alive. She lives, breathes and feels the thousands of emotions people have. 'No, this is all wrong', she thought to herself. She remembers everything, every little detail of what happened last night.

-  
_"Meinhardis" , I called the girl's name. The silence of the room screamed nothing but pain. I was so sure I would give her a reprimand for ignoring the rules and staying this late at night. But no, the moment she turned around, my heart softened, my walls crambled. I saw the tears eluding in those hazel brown eyes. I felt the sudden need to comfort the girl. Years of grief, longing and sorrow evaded her._

_"Oh child, what is it that is bothering you?" With every words being said, before I could even control myself, I was already standing in front of Manuela._

_"I don't know" , she said in between cries. Manuela is looking directly in my eyes, that look is enough for me to understand. With no words, she pleads to be saved from this mess. I felt the need to hold her close, but I did everything to restrain myself. This isn't right._

_We were standing close, inches apart. Her eyes speak of pain. Her tears keep on flowing. I cannot look away. I did what my heart wanted to do. I wiped her tears away._

_Manuela held me close. Shock evaded my senses. I closed my eyes and held her tight. I wanted to let go. The hug felt like a thousand sunsets, of the calmness of the storm, of waves crashing through endless shores. No, this isn't right. I slowly removed her embrace._

_She looked at me with those same longing eyes. Her tears stopped from falling. I failed to understand what compelled me to be lost in her gaze. I shook my head and smiled at her. That same warm smile I give to the rest of the girls._

_In the faintest of whispers I said, "Let's go"._

_She followed me in the darkness of the hallway. Only the moonlight guides our way. She walked beside me and I gazed at her. She was already looking at me with curiosity._

_"No one ever tried to comfort me, not even my own family, apart from my mom, I guess."_

_"You can always talk to me." I meant that._

_We walked in silence. The sound of our footsteps resonates in the empty hallways. Just minutes apart, we are already standing in front of their room. The girls are already asleep._

_I turned to look at Manuela. This time, I cannot understand what her gaze is trying to convey. I did what I always do. I leaned in close to her. I can feel her deep quiet breathing. We are looking in each other's eyes. I got completely lost. Time seemed to still. I slowly cupped her face. I then avoided looking at her eyes before I could never free myself, and I gently leaned in to give her a chaste kiss. It lingered for mere seconds._

_"Goodnight Meinhardis." With that, I turned around and left._  
-

Elisabeth is simply lost in her thoughts. She shakes her head, and looks at the almost dried ink, the words were written elegantly. She closes her eyes, remembering the image of Manuela writing it earlier. She saw her, but she didn't say a word. She should have did something. Manuela should've been scolded. The subtle wind caresses Elisabeth's gentle soul. She feels confused because of the sudden warmth she felt in her heart.

\--

_"Brokenness is the pull that attracts individuals. They are the ones who once failed to save themselves, that is why they seek to save other people."_


	5. Unspoken Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! To anyone still reading this, thank you so much! And i'm really sorry for the late upload, univ classes' been tough lately. Anyway, I hope you guys would like this!

Both of them never knew of the unsung melody that plays in their hearts. Moments start with a glance. The eyes always hold the truth to what is hidden deep in the heart. 

It was the first weeks of classes. Elisabeth and Manuela barely even talked after what happened that night, but the exchange of glances, of those unexplainable looks from both of them speaks more than their silence. It was somewhere between the second week, Elisabeth is walking alone in the hallway with her journal and books on hand. The morning speaks of unspoken promises neither of them knows. She is on her way to her next class when she hears familiar voices talking in the hallway. She abruptly stops upon recognizing one of the voices. She decided to turn around and leave when she heard someone asked Manuela. Meanwhile, Manuela is having a conversation with Kleist. The two of them haven't notice that Elisabeth is compelled to where she is standing.

"Manuela, wie geht's dir? (How are you?), you seem preoccupied lately. Is something bothering you?" 

"None, I'm just a little distracted, that's all." Manuela said while trying to mask her emotions. Elisabeth knew better. She found herself looking back again of the events that had happened during that night. She is lost in her thoughts when two sets of eyes looked directly at her. They stopped walking. Manuela is leaning in the wall while Kleist is holding Manuela's arms. Elisabeth hid her initial shock. She is that good in keeping her emotions to herself. Manuela is staring at her with a confused look while Kleist is looking at the floor. Elisabeth never looked at Manuela, but to a fixed point behind her. She cleared her throat, and spoke in a commanding tone.

"Loitering in the hallway is not allowed during class hours. Go back to your room." and with that, she left without even sparing a glance.

Another moment shared by these two is during Manuela's class with Elisabeth. It was a rainy day. The bell had rang indicating the start of another class. Manuela is seated beside the window. She is looking at the raindrops softly tapping the glass. Another raindrop falls and flows the moment Elisabeth entered the room. The soft vibration disrupt the stillness of the raindrops. All the students stood up and greeted their teacher.

Elisabeth first locked eyes with Manuela. She is also the first one to look away. How can one look has such effects? The lesson started. She tried to avoid Manuela's gaze. Those eyes hold too much emotions... too much depth that she would definetly drown if she allowed herself to be taken away. 

"Can anyone read the next lines?" Elisabeth said.

No one in the room volunteered to read, not until Manuela raised her hand. Elisabeth had no choice but to look at her. Intense autumn eyes already gazing at her. Silence. There was an unspoken silence between them. The rain beats a gentle solemn rhythm in the background. Manuela, fixing her gaze at Elisabeth's eyes, stood up even without being called. She read the next lines of the poem with the same rhythm as the rain.

_"Subtle waves and uncrossed souls  
The eyes had met but the meaning escaped  
The ocean had sang a song untold  
The waves had crashed what the eyes had seen  
The heart remembered what could have been"_

Elisabeth was lost, she was staring at Manuela while she was reading. Good thing nobody had noticed it. She tried to compose herself.

"Thank you Meinhardis. Now can anyone explain what this means?" Elisabeth said, still refusing Manuela's earnest eyes. 

"Unfulfilled." Manuela managed to say, her look never wavering.

"And what do you mean by that?" Without heed, Elisabeth's eyes wandered off Manuela's. 

"The poetry is about an unfulfilled love. The eyes tell so much. I think the 'almost' lovers are being compared to the ocean and the waves." Manuela said, still managing to invade Elisabeth's eyes.

"What makes you think that they are?" Elisabeth said, her gaze unexplainable.

"The ocean and the waves are one so as the lovers..." she paused leaving an unwelcome silence between them. Her voice a soft whisper, her eyes rattle with confusion trying to decipher Elisabeth's unknown gaze. Slowly she continued speaking, "And these lovers are responsible for their own unspoken love." 

The words escaped through Manuela's mouth like sunset... still yet unquiet. Her words gave a shiver to Elisabeth. Their eyes never quivered. The moment withered away as the bell rang. It was the end of their class. 

Little did they know that someone seated on the corner of the room is observing their silent interactions.

"Class is dismissed." Elisabeth let out a sigh she was holding for so long. She is feeling something unexplainable, unfathomable. She shook her head and she sat. She is fixing her papers when she heard the door closed. All the students had already left, well... not all.

Elisabeth is still fixing her things when she noticed a figure walking towards her. She looked up and saw Manuela.

"Meinhardis?" Elisabeth paused a little and said, "Is there anything you need?"

Manuela just looked at her. She wanted to say something but she couldn't find her voice. Elisabeth let herself forget their interaction earlier. She tried to remember her purpose as to why she took this job, it is to help the students, it is always for her students. That's why she's doing this. That's all there is to it. With this in mind, she walked towards Manuela. 

"What is it? You can always talk to me." Elisabeth smiled hoping it would reassure her. She can sense how restless Manuela is. 

"I want.. I just want to..." Manuela paused, trying to recollect herself. "Thank you.", she said at last.

With this, Elisabeth laughed lightly. She smiled.

"Such a puzzling young woman you are." She said while patting Manuela's shoulder. "You can always talk to me."

Elisabeth was startled when Manuela suddenly embraced her. The hug is never foreign, it feels the same as it was before. The only difference is that this time, Elisabeth didn't embraced Manuela back. She didn't move, she didn't even pushed Manuela away. Without her realizing it, she let herself drown in this pool of baffling emotions. 

Days had passed, these two women are still sharing glances. They are still having this unspoken interaction. Elisabeth, on her part, is trying not to look at Manuela. Maybe she'll let herself have a glimpse or two, and in her defense it is just because she wants to check if the girl is fine. She cares for her... deeper than she'll ever know... deeper than it should ever be. It just took her one night to somehow realize every little affection she has, but still, the mind represses what the heart already knows.

It was a typical night. Elisabeth is on her way to the girls' room. Like a ritual, she always say good night and leave a goodnight kiss. So far, besides the glances, everything is normal not until tonight.

As she entered the room, the girls are already standing beside their beds, ready and eager to receive their goodnight kisses on their foreheads. Elisabeth turns the lights off before she walked gracefully towards each girl. The night is unmoving, the moon is nowhere to be seen. Only the stars are visible through the window. Darkness somehow fills the room.

"Good night Westhagen."

"Good night Fräulein von Bernburg.", Ilse happily said and she immediately lied down to her bed. 

The moment has come, she turned to Manuela. Even through all this darkness, their eyes had met. Finally, after Elisabeth's attempt to avoid Manuela's eyes, she is now trapped in her gaze. She moves slowly, carefully. As she stood in front of Manuela, she cupped her face just like what she did before. None of them wavering from their shared moment, their eyes lock with that of an intense gaze. It's as though they are the only people in the room. No, no one could ever describe, no one could ever decipher how their eyes held each other's heart, not even Elisabeth.

She left a kiss on Manuela's forehead, but before she could back away, Manuela pulled her close, embraced her tight and kissed her right cheek. Before she could even process what had happened, Manuela already let go of her and lied down to her own bed leaving Elisabeth alone in the darkness.

That night, sleep evaded Elisabeth. A month had passed since her first meeting with Manuela, and now she couldn't understand everything that is happening. She let herself think that the girl's effusiveness is because she had recently lost her mother. And her whirlpool of emotions are nothing but innocent regard for this aching young woman. She wants to relieve the pain she's feeling, she just wants to help the girl. Yes, that's it. As she keeps repeating to herself like a mantra, 'That's all there is to it.' With this in mind, she slowly surrendered into a deep slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! So what do you think of the poem? If you have any other interpretations just let me know. And thank you so much for reading!


	6. Prisoner of Her Own

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So instead of doing school related stuffs, I found myself procrastinating and ended with this... Writing this chapter relieved my stress from everything, I hope you all would like it!
> 
> Btw, I apologize for any mistakes. All mistakes are mine alone.

After that night, Manuela was never the same. During those first weeks of classes she was active in recitations, especially at Elisabeth's class. She wanted to make her teacher proud. But after all those things that happened recently, she can no longer concentrate. She can't even answer simple questions. Her mind always wanders to a figure who she knows understands her. 

It was a Sunday afternoon. The sky is clear. The hint of rain is long gone now. Manuela and Kleist are sitting in the grasses just outside the school building. Kleist had been wanting to ask something to Manuela but she didn't know how to begin. 

"What is it?" Manuela asked disrupting Kleist's thoughts.

"Manuela", Kleist looked at her, and she touched her shoulder. "More than a month had passed since your arrival."

"And?" Manuela asked with furrowed brows.

"I am your friend and I care about you... and I noticed that you've been really distracted lately.. especially at Fräulein von Bernburg's class." Kleist's voice was subtle and full of concern.

"I don't understand what you mean." Manuela's expression is full of confusion. The wind brushes her soft hair.

"I think you'll know soon. Just remember, you can tell me anything. I am always here for you." Kleist said reassuringly.

"You're speaking in riddles Kleist. And thank you, I know you are." Manuela smiled at her.

"Oh please, you dont have to be too formal." 

"What shall I call you then?"

"My real name is Yvette, but I cannot use that name anymore." Kleist remorsefully said.

Manuela noticed the sudden change in Kleist's expression. "And I keep on asking why but you won't answer." She playfully said. She is trying to make Kleist smile. The gloomy mood earlier is replaced with a little teasing.

"I believe I can tell you. Besides, you would do the same right?" Kleist asked Manuela. 

"Don't worry, I will. I'm thankful for having you as my friend." Manuela smiled. 

Manuela learned about her friend's past. But more importantly, she learned something deeper, something that could invoke fear. The chilly air caused her to shiver. She looked up, the clear blue skies made it even harder to imagine. How could it be such a good day?

"Manuela, you have to promise me to keep all those things I said a secret." Kleist pleaded with Manuela.

"I promise."

The two girls sat together in silence. The only sound that resonates through the place is the gentle roar of the wind. Manuela is having a hard time processing the information she had just known. It could bring change to everything.

The sound of the gates opening made both of them look in that direction. They saw Elisabeth entering. She is in her best Sunday dress. She is wearing a dark purple dress which suits her well. As she was walking, her hat was almost taken away by the wind. Good thing she was able to hold it in place. Elisabeth looked ahead and the moment she did, she locked eyes with Manuela. She smiled at the girl, not thinking of the repercussions.

Manuela was left in total awe. What a price she would pay to keep that image of Elisabeth smiling. She is still looking at her as her figure slowly fades away in the foyer.

"That is what I was telling you earlier." Kleist suddenly said.

"What do you mean?" Manuela turned towards Kleist. Her eyes full of wonder.

"Fräulein von Bernburg.." Kleist gazed at the empty foyer where Elisabeth was earlier.

Manuela didn't say anything, instead, she also looked at the place where Elisabeth disappeared. She held her chest and she felt her heartbeat burst into a cosmic and rhythmic pattern. She closes her eyes, letting herself feel all those emotions. Shaking her head, she turned to Kleist.

"I just hope what you told me earlier isn't true. I do not want to lose someone anymore.", a subtle whisper escaped Manuela's mouth.

Night time came, Manuela cannot sleep. Her mind is clouded with worry, with fear -- fear of losing someone... anyone. 'If what Yvette said is true then...' she shook her head for a hundredth time now. It didn't help especially when Elisabeth did not go into their room to give her usual good night kiss to the girls. Manuela knows she would get into trouble with what she would do next, but she really needed some fresh air. She stood up and quietly crept towards the door.

\--

It is already six in the evening. Elisabeth is going through her things, trying to find something when suddenly there was a knock on the door. 

"Come in."

She was still trying to find what she was looking for when she heard Fräulein von Racket speak.

"Fräulein von Bernburg.." Racket is her usual proud self. She looks at Elisabeth like a prey that is about to be devoured, but she kept it well hidden with her smile.

"The headmistress would like to speak with you."

"I would be there in just a minute." Elisabeth said still rummaging through her things.

\--

The headmistress' room is an uninviting dreary place. All of her belongings are properly stored, not even a single one is out of place. Instead of family pictures and portraits, war paintings are hanging in the wall. Her cases of books are all about the history of her country, war efforts and militaristic books. The only thing that is unlikely to be placed in her room is a vase of flowers in her table and a romance novel just beside it. The headmistress is sitting in her chair, with another book in her hand. She looks at Elisabeth. They are in the middle of a serious conversation.

"This book is all about order and discipline." She said in her most authoritative voice.

"All I want in this school is to prepare these students in their future roles for this country... every single one of them."

Elisabeth didn't say a word. It is clearly in her heart and mind that this is not how her students should be treated.

"Fräulein von Bernburg, how is the new student faring?"

With this, Elisabeth looked in the headmistress' direction. She is somewhat bewildered. Lately she had noticed Manuela's lack of concentration. She cannot even answer simple questions. It was really unlikely for Manuela to act that way, besides she was active during their first weeks of classes.

"Meinhardis is still adjusting to these changes..."

"Must I repeat myself? How is she faring?"

"She is not doing well. But I assure you, in time, she will." Elisabeth said with confidence. Concern is evident in her voice.

"Discipline is the key Fräulein von Bernburg." she looks at her book. "This is not the place to show lenience and gentleness."

"Discipline invoked by fear and not respect would never work. The students need to know that this place too could be there home." Elisabeth said hoping for the headmistress to understand.

"No more of this, I expect you to act according to what I have told you." She handed the book to Elisabeth. "This might help you understand."

Elisabeth grabbed the book and left the room. She looked at the grandfather clock just beside the wall, it was almost 8pm. She wasn't able to bid her goodnights' to her students, surely they are already asleep by now. But it was a good thing that she was called in the headmistress' room. Lately, Elisabeth is having a hard time being in a same place with Manuela. Whenever she is near, she feels a pool of emotions she always fail to understand. No, she does not want to understand. Every moment, her mind wanders to this very person. Whenever their eyes meet, she can see the yearning and the pain in Manuela's eyes. All she wanted to do is to keep the young lady close to her, but all she can do is to keep her distance and offer her a reassuring smile. That's all she can do. That's all she have to do.

Before going back to her room, she went to check her students. The lights are out, she couldn't see clearly. She went inside the room and unto the windows. She draw the curtains to one side. The moonlight illuminated the place. A sudden pang of nostalgia hit her. The night sky offers her many memories to remember. Her reverie was disrupted when she saw a familiar figure walking just outside the garden. To confirm her suspicion she looked at Manuela's bed. It is empty. 

Instead of feeling angry, Elisabeth felt a surge of worry. 'What is she up to now?'. Without a second thought, Elisabeth is on her way to the garden. It's as if her feet have a mind of its own. Why would she even follow Manuela to the garden? For all she know, she could confront the girl tomorrow and give her a reprimand. But no, she did what she didn't expect herself to do. In the end, her concern for Manuela prevailed. 

It is a chilly quiet night. The starlit sky casts light upon the darkness of the place. Manuela is sitting under the Myrtle tree just beside the lake, the same place where she saw Elisabeth before. She grabbed the pebble next to her and with full force, she threw it in the lake, all her emotions she could no longer keep at bay escaped. She grabbed the next pebble but before she could threw it again, she heard footsteps behind her. The moment she turned around, she saw the one person who, at this moment, she knows cares for her the most.

"Fräulein von Bernburg." was all she could say.

"Meinhardis? What are you doing here?"

Manuela didn't answered her. Right now, she has no words.. her mind is filled with fear for the truth she had known. She looked at Elisabeth's eyes. Manuela is losing herself more and more with each passing day, and she doesn't have any clue that Elisabeth feels that same way. Elisabeth herself does not acknowledges it. Before both of them drown in this whirlpool of emotions, Elisabeth spoke.

"Manuela, it's getting cold, we need to go back inside now." Manuela was astounded when she heard Elisabeth speak her first name. It feels too foreign yet more personal, more intimate. With this, she let all her walls crumble.

"Fräulein von Bernburg, I'm afraid to lose you..." At last, Manuela found her voice.

Elisabeth was surprised she called Manuela by her first name, but she was even more dumbfounded with what Manuela told her. She doesn't know what to say, what to react. To bid more time, she fixed the creased part of her skirt. She cleared her throat.

"Why would you lose me?" Elisabeth said in a whisper. Their eyes are trapped in each other's gaze.

"I-I can't t-tell you." Tears escaped in Manuela's eyes. Before Elisabeth could react, Manuela stood up and ran away. Elisabeth was left confused in the dark. She can feel the rapid agonizing beating of her heart.


	7. A Subtle Surrender

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There may be a slight depiction of graphic violence. Though it only holds a portion of this chapter.

Elisabeth is left standing alone in the darkness. How should one react with what had been said? How can one find the right words, the right meaning? 'What does the girl mean?' Her mind had reeled. Of course her heart knows the answer yet her mind chooses to repress every little thing she knows and feels. Everything about this isn't right. But amidst all this, her heart whispered, she has to save the girl. She needs to save the girl but why? 

Elisabeth leaned in the Myrtle Tree -- her heart, heavy.. her mind, lost. Her hand lies in her chest, she can feel the beating of her heart, 'So help me god' was all she could say. Too much emotions.. too much.. too much. She didn't notice an hour had already passed. She is deep in this whirlpool of emotions not even given the chance to swim. All of this is wrong, all of this but what exactly is this? It's getting colder with every passing minute. Elisabeth became worried, 'where did Manuela go?' In an instant, Elisabeth found herself walking across the garden, the trees swaying, no, the trees dancing with the rhythm of the wind just like how the two of them started this dance with fate. She came looking for the girl. 

Elisabeth went back to the building, she needs to see if Manuela had already gone back but to no avail, the young lady is nowhere to be seen. Worry. Her mind is clouded with worry. Worry for the girl, worry for her heart. The gates are locked, Manuela should still be around campus. With this, she left her students' room. Into the darklit hallway she walked. With every step she make, little by little she wants to surrender but also, she wants to kill what her heart already knows. She wants to kill what was and what could be. She looks ahead and sees a figure, a silhoutte.

"Fräulein von Bernburg."

"Fräulein von Racket."

The exchange of words held too much meaning. Racket gave Elisabeth a questionning look.

"Good night Fräulein von Racket." Elisabeth had managed to say and walked passed Racket. In confusion, she walked towards her room. 'Why?' was all she could think about. Trying to compose herself, Elisabeth sat, looking in an empty space in front of her. She is in deep turmoil with herself. Why is she going after the girl? She just wants to help her, right? But she knows she is only fooling herself. Slowly, she let her heart yield, a subtle submission, her heart finally surrendered. What else could she do? Giving in, she stood up and she continued looking for the one person who let her feel these thousands of emotions.

\--

_It is just a one fine day. Nothing is unusual. All the girls are in their respective classes with their respective teachers. The hallway is empty. The bedrooms are quiet. The sky is clear. The birds are singing. The place brought nothing but a sweet gentle sway. Manuela is in her class with Madam Auburt. Her teacher is talking something about a play._

_The window is open. A beautiful blue-winged butterfly entered the room. It stayed in Manuela's table. The girls had noticed the butterfly and they were truly amazed by it. Just seconds later, her classmates had surrounded it._

_Manuela stood, not wanting to be involved. She walked to the back of the room and leaned in the window. She was deep in her thoughts when she saw an aircraft. It flies up in the clear skies leaving a trail of smoke. A bird suddenly bumped in the window to her left. Blood is all over the winged animal. Terror is evident in Manuela's eyes. Just seconds later, she saw the aircraft dropping something from above. She wasn't able to move, her eyes fixated on that thing. Before it hit the ground, Manuela recovered from her initial shock._

_"Take cover!" She shouted making her teacher and classmates look in her direction._

_"Bomb!" She wailed again. With this, she hid beneath the table. The explosion is deafening. The moment she opened her eyes, the place is in ruins. Fire. There was fire. 'Fräulein von Bernburg' was all she could think about... her Fräulein von Bernburg's safety. She couldn't afford to lose someone again. She looks at the place, her classmates are crying in pain. Some where lying lifeless in the corner of the room. Blood. There was blood everywhere. With shaking knees she tried to stand. She walks, holding on to every rubble. Elisabeth's classroom is just across hers._

_With all her energy, she walks towards Elisabeth's room. The place is slowly being engulfed by fire._

_"Fräulein von Bernburg!" a desperate plea escaped Manuela's voice._

_"Meinhardis." a weak voice echoes._

_Manuela followed the voice. There she saw Elisabeth in her weakest state._

_"No! No no no!!" She cries, her voice desperate. There's nothing she could do but to shout and to wail. She falls in her knees crying in pain._

_"No please no!"_

"Meinhardis, Meinhardis! Wake up!" A familiar voice had woken Manuela up. She opened her eyes. Darkness greeted her. Her heart is beating fast, she is sweating but she feels cold. She is shivering. It was only a dream, a nightmare. A figure is kneeling beside her and is touching her shoulders. A familiar warmth invaded her senses. As she refocus her attention, she saw Elisabeth.

"Wha- I..." Manuela looked around. Her back is leaning in the base of the statue of Venus. Her heart and mind racing because of her dream. Her eyes are suddenly filled with sadness. Seeing this, Elisabeth almost held Manuela close to her, but all she was able to do was to take a deep breath and with a clenched jaw, she tried to control herself. It would be different now, especially because she finally accepted the feelings she has towards the young lady. But she knows she couldn't act on her feelings.. she shouldn't.. she must not. She turned to look at her right. She was greeted by Venus, the Roman goddess of love. Venus bared witness to how much she wanted to embrace Manuela, to keep her close and to hold her tight.

Although what Elisabeth did was only a subtle move, Manuela had noticed it. She dared to do what Elisabeth did not wanted to do. Manuela held her. The young lady embraced her. She took in the scent of Elisabeth. She smelled of vanilla and of all the wonderful things in this world. 

"I-I don't know what to feel." Manuela said in a gentle whisper. 

"About what?" Elisabeth faintly said, her voice almost a stutter, unwilling to understand what had been spoken. 

"You."

The weight of that word made Elisabeth sunk deeper. With that one simple word, Elisabeth closes her eyes and savored what had been said. She found herself lost in the arms of Manuela. Both of them feels the unsung melody in their hearts. But like all songs, there is always an end. If this is what eternity feels like, she wants to stay in this make believe, but Elisabeth knows everything at stake here. She knows Manuela would have a life outside of this school. She is young and beautiful and smart. She has her whole future ahead of her. And most of all, she is her teacher. With this, Elisabeth forced herself to slowly let go of Manuela's embrace.

"No, please. Not just yet." Manuela pleaded. Her lips so close to Elisabeth's neck. Manuela's breathing sent tremors in her vains. 

Their spell was broken when they heard someone softly yelling.

"Manuela!"

With shock, Elisabeth had pushed Manuela away. The sudden coldness swept through her. She could see the hurt in Manuela's eyes. Before she could react, the young lady turned her face away.

"I'm sorry. I'll go." 

Clearly, Manuela misunderstood. Manuela didn't know about how she makes Elisabeth feel.

Without a second thought, Elisabeth pulled Manuela close to her. The embrace was intimate and never foreign. Just as the moment she embraced Manuela, in an instant she realized she crossed a very dangerous line. It took all her willpower to undo what she had done. For the second time around, she slowly let go. 

"You should go." was all Elisabeth managed to say.

She refused to look at the young lady. Manuela stood up in utter confusion. She had failed to understand the gravity of what Elisabeth just did. Both of them didn't say a word. Manuela slowly walks outside the pavillion until only her silhouette is visible to Elisabeth. The night speaks of nothing but yearning in Elisabeth's heart. The coldness of the night didn't bring comfort. She is sitting there, alone, her face buried in her hands. 'I must control myself. I must.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	8. Soft Gentle Touch

The night is long and weary. Kleist had showed up that evening because she was looking for Manuela. Once the young lady left Elisabeth, she saw Kleist wandering in the dark. 

"Manuela!" The girl ran towards her.

"Yvette, what are you doing here?" 

"I should ask you the same thing. I went looking for you. I woke up and I noticed you are not in your bed." Kleist worriedly said. She had seen the sadness in Manuela's eyes. 

Looking back at the darkness, Manuela shook her head.

"I just needed some fresh air. Come on let's go back."

Not wanting to make her friend feel uncomfortable, she avoided asking questions. The two of them went back to their room. 

In the pavillion, Elisabeth picked herself up. She let her heart wept without shedding a tear. As she walked under the moonlight, she feels heavy. Neither of them admitted their feelings out loud. No. They do not need words for that. Elisabeth, on her part, does not know just how profound her feelings are. All she knows is that she could never let her feelings grow deeper. That's the one thing she needs to avoid... for her sake, for Manuela's sake. Elisabeth now feels the coldness of the wind brushing her gentle heart. She let herself be carried away by the harshness sound of the wind. 

With the heaviest of hearts, she returned to her room. The moment she stepped inside, she sees her journal laying open in her table just waiting for its owner to create words from ink. Seeing this, Elisabeth grabbed her ink and she did what she do best. 

_Tonight, I write your name in the stars_

Elisabeth began to write. Months of unshed emotions escaped from deep within her heart. 

_Remembering the memory  
When you held me in your arms_

Elisabeth remembers all those moments she embraced Manuela. All those times the young lady held her close.

_I wish it didn't end_

But she knows not all wishes could come true. If only time could rest. If it could only cease to exist...

_I long for your embrace_

She longs for more...

_Hold you once more  
Before you let me go_

At the last words, Elisabeth shuts her eyes as she gently closed her journal, not caring if the ink had not dried up yet. Her heart is filled with emotions. 'Let it be, just let it be.' 

\--

Days had passed since that encounter. For the most part, Elisabeth really meant what she promised herself to do. Although subtle, Manuela felt the changes in Elisabeth's actions. For starters, she noticed that her teacher always avoids looking at her. Because of this, whenever possible, she always stay in the classroom after their class had ended. She wanted to talk to Elisabeth but even before she could start a conversation, her teacher was already gone. In some days, Manuela got to hold Elisabeth's attention but the older lady seems to be always in a hurry to leave. She would only give Manuela a strained smile and in just mere seconds, she was gone even before Manuela could talk to her.

Manuela is clueless of the reasons why Elisabeth is doing those things. She feels hurt and confused. Her mind has failed to understand what was happening. The person she became dependent to is suddenly distancing herself from her. She often asks herself if it is because of something she did or something she said. Lost in her thoughts, Manuela had not noticed that almost all of her classmates are finished preparing. It is the weekend. Once in every month, the students are allowed to go outside the school premises provided that their governess would accompany them. In this case, Elisabeth would.

"Girls! Have you heard?" Ilse shouted from beside Manuela, freeing her from her thoughts and making all her classmates turn in Ilse's direction. 

"What?" the girls responded in chorus.

"We are required to do a play. I heard we're doing Romeo and Juliet!" Ilse said with twinkling eyes. Without second thoughts, Ilse acted out a line from the play.

"Oh Romeo Romeo, why must thou be Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name. Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love and I’ll no longer be a Capulet." 

Ilse dreamily said and turned to Manuela. She pulled Manuela up, urging her to continue. Both of them are now standing in their beds. She is definitely not in the mood but she just went along with it so she could at least get her mind off Elisabeth. 

"I take thee at thy word. Call me but love, and I’ll be new baptized. Henceforth I never will be Romeo."

Manuela heard teasing remarks from her classmates. Ilse whistled in response. "That's my Romeo!" She teasingly said and grabbed Manuela's arm.

"Of course Juliet, what do you expect from your Romeo?" Manuela teased. All of her classmates are now laughing because of their antics.

"Oh, my Romeo! Let us share a kiss!" Ilse said closing her eyes and pouting her lips. To tease Ilse even more, Manuela playfully jumped back to her bed, but to her dismay, she jumped too high and missed the bed. The next thing she knew, she landed on Kleist. They are sprawled down on Kleist's bed. Manuela is on top of her. Both of their eyes dilated because their lips almost touched, only an inch away.

"Kiss kiss kiss kiss!!"

To make matters worst, their classmates started cheering. The noise only died down when they heard someone speak.

"Girls. Kiss? And what is this all about?" Elisabeth said in her most stern voice. All heads turned to look at her, even Manuela. She is still lying on top of Kleist. Light brown eyes meet with hazel ones. The moment their eyes met, she saw Elisabeth wearing the most blank facial expression she had ever seen. She saw a little bit of emotion but it was immediately gone, hidden behind that expressionless face. It was never like her. After what felt like eternity, Elisabeth looked away.

"We will leave in 20 minutes. I expect you all to be at the gate by then." With that, she left.

And just like that, the scene from earlier was forgotten. Teasing eyes left Manuela and Kleist. The girls busied themselves since they only have 20 minutes left to prepare. Manuela finally stood up. Extending her hand, she helped Kleist.

"I'm sorry Yvette. Foolish of me to jump that far." Manuela remorsefully said. 

"It's not your fault Manuela. Right now, it should be the least of your worries." Kleist said. Her voice clearly hinting on something else.

"What do you mean?" Manuela asked with furrowed brows.

"We'll get to that. You need to take a bath first. It's almost time." Kleist threw a towel at Manuela. Before she could even react, Kleist had pushed her away. "Off you go." She said and gave Manuela a playful smile.

Once she finished taking a bath, all her classmates are already gone. 'They should be at the gate by now.' Manuela thought to herself. Realizing she only has a few minutes left, she immediately wore her dress. It is a fitted black dress which accentuated her curves. This time, she did not tie her hair up. She lets her long brown hair cascade freely in her back. Feeling content with how she looks, she grabbed her hat and sling bag, and left the room.

It was quite a windy day. The sky is blue and the sun is hidden behind the clouds. The sound of the birds chirping echoes in a fair distance. As Manuela walks towards her classmates, she locked eyes with Elisabeth. Manuela's hair was fluttering in the wind, and Elisabeth's heart quivered, she cannot tear her gaze away from the young lady. Time went still for the both of them. But as always, with a heavy heart, Elisabeth is the first one to look away.

\--

Manuela's mind is out of sorts. She is trying to figure out Elisabeth's actions. She didn't even noticed that they are already in the portion of the park where there are only a few people. Kleist and her preferred to walk while their classmates and governess chose to stay in the picnic grounds. She sighed and looked at Kleist who is walking at her side.

"I don't understand her." Manuela said in an annoyed voice.

"Understand who?" Kleist asked.

"Yvette, promise me you won't tell anyone else." 

"Of course Manuela, I consider you as my bestfriend. You can trust me with anything."

Manuela took a deep breath and bit her lips. Both of the girls stopped walking. Kleist held Manuela's hand to show her support. "Yvette, I have feelings for Fräulein von Bernburg." She said looking at their joined hands.

"I already know that." Kleist said and smiled at Manuela. 

"You do??"

"Of course I do. Now, what is the problem?"

Manuela told her everything that had happened eversince the beginning, from their first embrace till that night in the pavillion. Kleist gasped. She knows their is something happening but she is not aware of the profoundness of everything that is occurring. 

"I believe she has feelings for you as well." Kleist said.

"No Yvette, if she does, then why is she acting this way? She couldn't even look at me, well, except for what happened earlier. But that's it.", her tone was full of sadness.

"Manuela, you have to understand the situation. She is still our teacher. What else could she do? She doesn't have any choice. And if you still don't believe me, look at her reaction later."

"Reaction? What reaction?"

"When she sees us together. I saw her reaction earlier Manuela, in the room..."

"I-" Manuela sighed in defeat. "And if that is true, then what should I do?"

Kleist looked at the empty horizon, her heart is filled with nostalgia. "No Manuela, the question is, what do you want to do about it? Just follow your heart, it would guide you to where you want to be."

Manuela went silent for a few minutes, contemplating everything Kleist had told her. "It seems like you've already been in this kind of situation.", she broke the silence.

"No. But I do know someone back in France who does. But let's not get into that, the important thing right now is this, what would you do about it?"

Manuela stayed silent for a matter of minutes and then she spoke, "Oh I know. I'm going to give her something."

"What would you give her?"

"I'll show you when it's done." Manuela smiled at her friend. "Thank you Yvette."

It is already getting late. Elisabeth is gazing at the ethereal pink sky, the sun leisurely waving its goodbye. It is starting to get cold. She is waiting for Kleist, Ilse and Manuela in the picnic grounds. 'Where could those three be?' And as she ask herself that question, she saw two people coming out from behind the trees. 'If only.' Elisabeth hates how she is acting right now. She hates herself even more because of how deeply she is affected by everything that she saw. The past days, she was aware that Manuela was always trying to talk to her, and all she did was to brush the young lady off. And every time she did, she can see the sadness reflected in Manuela's eyes. Who is she kidding? All she wanted to do is to hold her close to her, but all she could do is to keep her distance. What is there left to do? 

Just seconds apart, she saw Ilse running towards them. She started fixing her things and she instructed her students to do the same. It is time for them to go back, back to the place where reality plays, the place which imprisons their right to feel. The girls began to form a straight line. Manuela is not usually at the back of the line, but today, she decided to be at the last so she could be closer to Elisabeth. As they were walking, Manuela can feel Elisabeth's intense gaze. She remembered every little thing that Kleist told her earlier, something about following her heart. She didn't know what came into her mind but she suddenly stopped walking and turned to look at Elisabeth. They are only inches away from each other. For the nth time today, light brown eyes met with hazel ones. Manuela could see how surprised Elisabeth was. The young lady admired how beautiful Elisabeth is. Her eyes' shine brightly, reflecting the warmth of the sun. Oh how much she aches to be with her. Without second thoughts, Manuela leaned closer to her, close enough that she could whisper something to her ear. She can feel Elisabeth's heavy breathing. Elisabeth felt as if the universe enclosed her weak heart. She was caught off guard. She was just standing there, unable to move, unable to react... unable to resist.

"Fräulein von Bernburg, I won't apologize for doing this." The young lady whispered, waiting for the right moment to feel how lost shooting stars collide with other heavenly bodies. Elisabeth can smell the sweet berry fragrance of her breath, and before she could say anything, she felt soft lips grazed the corner of her mouth. The touch left her senseless. And just like that, Manuela turned around and acted like nothing ever happened. Elisabeth clenched her fist, doing her best to resist her urge of pulling the young lady close to her and give her a proper kiss. 

\--

_Entry #26_

_There was a story never told...  
A love that can never be  
The sky was in love with the mountain  
And so as she..._

_Every morning the mountain sings  
A bittersweet melody  
Hoping it would reach the sky  
Wishing they could be_

_Every night the sky can hear  
But there's nothing she can do  
But to give her endless cries  
It was a kiss from the sky..."_

_-EvB_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So any thoughts about this chapter? I hope you guys like it! And thank you so much for taking the time to read!


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